He’s not coming back…

Trying to stick together for the kids? Not an option

I wanted more. So I left him... and eventually let him go.

There was no more asking myself: Will I stay or finally set myself free? Will he let me go? Can I let him go? Realizing that my ex and I can never have what we once had and never again will I even try with him was what I needed to finalized between us.

It took super-human strength for me to leave him in the first place. So him not coming back is the best thing. The kids may miss him, but I’m free. The best thing for the kids to see is our happiness… especially the happiness that includes the fact that we aren’t together and we're both with someone else.

The presence of "Mommy and Daddy being there together" was what kids are used to. The truth was I was miserable because I was settling. We knew weren't meant for each other anymore. He wanted to be somewhere else and now I wanted him to stay somewhere else. So when it was finally over, it was really over. It was a closet that was filled to capacity that was constantly having more things stuffed inside of it. It was ridiculous. 

Children need to be shown a good example of what love is. A good and healthy relationship. A man who treats their Mom with love and respect. In the future, there will be a man that makes Mommy smile.

But first Mommy has to learn to be happy alone again. Which won't be hard. When I let him go, I breathed my first sigh of relief. I let go. I went from suffocating in a room with toxic air, to breathing fresh air. 

And it feels so good.

Dating a mogul

I consider myself to be a powerful woman. Even after my ex left, I went to work the next day. Picked up my son from school, cooked dinner, business as usual. I can't afford to stop because he couldn't hang.

Hate to sound cruel but I believe that the cruise must go on no matter who doesn't make the boat. My son depends on me, no matter what. I must make money, no matter what.

I noticed in my new dating escapades, that some men find it intimidating that I am a strong-willed businesswoman. I'm not just a single mother dating(which already makes it hard) but I am also a powerful woman dating.

My brother told me that I appear cold, too reserved. He told me that I probably scare them away with my constraints and hectic schedule. So when I have relationships, it seems that I neglect their needs because it's hard to fit that man into my schedule.

What do you do when you seem too big for that man?

I don't want a man to feel useless around me. When I'm in a relationship, I try my hardest to address the needs of that relationship. Sometimes men don't want to commit to a woman that seems too busy. I have my own business and I have my own family, I will try my hardest to fit love into the equation.

Even though love is what I want, that part of my life is on hold until I can find a man that will understand all of my needs.

Go to Miss Birdie's Books.com

Horizons

I started seeing someone that I had a past with. I've never been for looking in the past. But when I saw my college sweetheart, everything that we had felt for each other in the past, just continued.

After dating for a few months, I found myself in a situation that I always thought I above. Being an unscrupulous man-stealing whores, I was doing what they do.

I found myself loving a man that belonged to someone else. That's what it was. Period.

I remember what I felt when my ex did it to me.

I knew that what we had couldn't go further. We pushed it beyond where we ever should have. Now I was feeling trapped.  He was pursuing me full-throttle and although I was enjoying being with him, I was so tortured and guilty that it overshadowed my feelings for myself.

I was settling.

One day he mentioned his partner's name in a casual conversation, the blood rushed to my head and I got angry. I was already feeling guilty about it, now I felt bombarded with reminders of my wrongdoing.

So, I went on a diet.

I had to cut THAT MAN out of my diet.  Changed my number, erased his. He was no good for me and I knew that he would not let me go. I loved him and I did not want to leave but I believe in Karma. And I still want to know what I did to get to the place I was in my life.

Lesson learned: going backwards is not an option, I must broaden my horizons.

Go to Miss Birdie's Books.com