Did you hear that? The woman has suffered through worldwide judgment and ridicule because her personal version of motherhood is different than what's "traditionally" held. Popular digs at her:
"She's not raising her kid." "She's not a good mom." Without substantial proof, mom shaming of the worst kind.
Parenthood is heavy and takes a lot of sacrifice. People fail to realize that it takes great humility and love to admit that you, as a mother, are incapable to caring for her child daily and can actually do something about it.
Guess what she did? She gave him to his father so that she could get help. Cam's father was handed Father of the Year for doing his job and she was vilified. She didn't walk away from her child, she didn't become a deadbeat ghost mom. She gave her son's father primary custody. This isn't a hate on her baby's father post, this is to bring to the forefront the fact that:
1) Parents are killing themselves (and their kids) at alarming rates because they can't function. They suffer in silence with shame and powerlessness that's so crippling that they can't bear to exist and take themselves and/or their kids off this earth. It's so sad that Murder/Suicides are even an option.
2) Admitting that you have postpartum depression or a chemical imbalance and is in need of assistance is brave and needs to be understood and cared for, not criticized or belittled.
3) The FIRST person in line to care for the children is the OTHER parent. She should be able to entrust her child's care to his other parent. They are co-parents for a reason. No woman should be shamed for giving their children to her co-parent.
Children's Services didn't have to be called, Going to Auntie's or a drop off at Grandma's wasn't an option, Dad was called for help. Fathers don't "step up", they become Dads, like they should. In this case, Cam wins. He has 2 parents that love him and rise to the occasion of parenthood on their own terms. Nothing is perfect but it has to work because it's all you've got.
There are so many things people may not like about Moniece due to the presentation of her public persona, but one thing that I hope that the world comes to a more developed understanding of: Mothers need help. Mothers need help. MOTHERS DESERVE HELP.
Moniece asked for help. For that, she deserves respect.
We're living in this age, where people are becoming martyrs because they've killed themselves. They're overmedicated or spiral because they hate how they feel and feel like their only outlet is to become something or someone else so they don't feel bad anymore.
Most mothers don't have that luxury. I personally have survived depression and the torturous limbo of not wanting to feel pain, not wanting to die because you have a reason to live but not wanting to live in pain is a horrible feeling. Add on caring for a mini-you that depends on you for life is a lot for people to deal with. Then add to that, the ugly death of a relationship with someone you once cared for & had the child with.
Motherhood is a process. Sometimes we have good days and many days we feel like failures. Then when we want to do more than "being just moms", we get demonized for "not putting our kids first."
All of us deserve to have a full life and teaching our children how to be the best versions of ourselves is only through experience and shown through the clarity of our example, not an imposed martyrdom drenched in servitude based on worldly standards of motherhood. Any mother that says to the contrary is delusional. It's not realistic and it's unfair. No one has the right to define what kind of mother you should be.
If we're falling apart and our kids are in the front row seats, what example is that? We're trying to break generational curses, and the kids don't win if we can't do our best.
There is nothing i love more than being Bam's mother but there were days that i couldn't get out of bed and although it was hard, I pushed through. Days that I didn't have help and couldn't call anyone. It took time and patience with myself and a lot of suffering in silence. It took a lot of tears in the dark and forming alliances with other mothers that gave a degree of support and resonance when I felt alone and couldn't depend on Bam's father. But that doesn't make me Mother of the Year. In my silence, I was a part of the problem. What defines a good parent is not cookie-cut. It fluctuates based on instances, the days and stages throughout our lives.
My son knows that i am not perfect and I know that he loves me, on even my worst days when I didn't love myself. Kids are resilient that way. The best and only judge that can be the gauge is to be seen when your children grow up. That love and understanding given now will be the product of what the world gets when Cam is grown.
I know 2 things: Raising a child should take a village and only time will only tell. Moniece has my respect for her act of love. She is one of the very public faces of maternal mental health that embodies a self care and grace that mothers deserve.
I know 2 things: Raising a child should take a village and only time will only tell. Moniece has my respect for her act of love. She is one of the very public faces of maternal mental health that embodies a self care and grace that mothers deserve.
