Pages

16.8.10

He’s not coming back…

Trying to stick together for the kids? Not an option
I wanted more. So I left him... and eventually let him go.
There was no more asking myself: Will I stay or finally set myself free? Will he let me go? Can I let him go? Realizing that my ex and I can never have what we once had and never again will I even try with him was what I needed to finalized between us.

It took super-human strength for me to leave him in the first place. So him not coming back is the best thing. The kids may miss him, but I’m free. The best thing for the kids to see is our happiness… especially the happiness that includes the fact that we aren’t together and we're both with someone else.

The presence of "Mommy and Daddy being there together" was what kids are used to. The truth was I was miserable because I was settling. We knew weren't meant for each other anymore. He wanted to be somewhere else and now I wanted him to stay somewhere else. So when it was finally over, it was really over. It was a closet that was filled to capacity that was constantly having more things stuffed inside of it. It was ridiculous. 

Children need to be shown a good example of what love is. A good and healthy relationship. A man who treats their Mom with love and respect. In the future, there will be a man that makes Mommy smile.

But first Mommy has to learn to be happy alone again. Which won't be hard. When I let him go, I breathed my first sigh of relief. I let go. I went from suffocating in a room with toxic air, to breathing fresh air

And it feels so good.