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30.8.11

The Big House

Like most women, I want the big house, 5 bedrooms, 4 ½ baths, gorgeous kitchen, dining room, walk-in closet for my hundreds of shoes and the big yard for my son to play in, etc...
Hey, it’s my dream.

As a mother, giving my son “the good life”, with amenities is my job.
Making the quality of my son’s life better so that he doesn’t have to worry about the small things like not being able to play in our badass neighborhood. Or the big things like bussing him 2 hours away from home so that he’d have great opportunities because he went to a great school.

On my last vacation, I stayed in that kind of beautiful house with all of those things I always wanted in a house. And... it was too big. I’m a single mother to one son and to be perfectly honest, although it’s something I’ve always wanted, I haven’t truly and realistically envisioned myself having that actual house.

My sister and I were online looking at houses. Again, I mentioned how big that house was, and subsequent models thereafter, she said, “Why do you plan on being alone?” "HUH?"
She said, “Hear me out. You actually would deprive yourself of the dream of having the big house you’ve always wanted because you think you will be alone? Why do you think that you will never find that someone to share your life with, besides your son?

Wow. I hadn’t thought about it like that before. I was subconsciously denying my future companion.

My son is always at the top of my list. Making a life for myself, with someone for myself never realistically came to mind.

I do want someone in my life to love and fill that house with me, having the den we can have football Sunday, karaoke Fridays and host Super Bowl parties in. Him having his “man cave”. Someone that will toss the football in the yard with my son.

I want that life. I’d better act like it, before I push that blessing away too.