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17.2.15

Manifestations of Love



I’ve spent a great portion of my life being concerned with doing ‘the right thing’ or doing what others expect from me. I’m way too old now and too tired to be consumed with the other things that take me from living the life I’m loving. Especially with my relationships.

I have great friends and family that truly want what’s best for me and have tons of great advice for me. And although I’ve made some mistakes, I pray that they don’t judge me too harshly. We’re all human. We’ve all done stupid things. But I am a work in progress. I can admit my faults and don’t harbor many secrets. Maybe I should keep more to myself, but it’s cathartic for me that I don’t.

With that said, the album that I released, Scandal, was mostly autobiographical. That’s me being honest. And now, when I listen to some of the songs I sing/sang, I thought of the instances that I’ve lived and loved through that I brought out on wax and I’m asking the same questions others are thinking. It’s funny, but on the outside looking in, I’ve been a mess.

The trouble is, that the things that dominate your mind and you speak, in my cases, write & sing, manifest themselves in your real life. The messiness from Scandal, Boots by the Door, Live With It and Lose Again. Yup. My life.

And while it was poetry and my heart bled when I wrote it, it was a hot, sticky mess while I was in it and it was fun and not fun at the same time. I noticed that that’s what was beginning to happen. Only I can change the course of that, so it’s time to write some new songs.

But with all that happened in my past relationships, I’m writing 2 books and another album. I’m learning from it all and I will most definitely not be repeating those patterns. I’m declaring it & putting that out there. I’m gonna get the messy out of my system, grow from it and love differently.

That’s all I can ask of myself. 

To hear and buy my new album:  http://birdiechesson.bandcamp.com/album/scandal